World War Pony
by TacticalNuke
Summary: A British soldier during WW1 gets his trench taken over by the Germans. He travels to Equestria, and comes home after he kills . But a new war is looming over the horizon... Rated T for language and blood.
1. Chapter 1

BOOM! An artillery shell hits the trench. As I duck for cover from the falling debris, guns, and bodies, I notice the world is getting brighter for whatever reason. "Get the fuck outta here!" my CO yells, "The bloody Germans are going over the top!" Even brighter world now. I pass that out of my mind and sprint. I run and run and run. Shit. The Germans took our trench. We have to go back .05 miles to our old one. At least we get supplies faster. Then I realized that by now, the world was bright as hell. " Oh dear god!" I said as I felt a warm sensation go over me. The last thing I heard was: "Corporal! Medic! MEDIC!"

"Hello?" I said. Where in the fuck was I? All I saw was a mountain range and a castle in the distance. I also saw some birds in the sky pretty far away. They were huge. I also think I saw some windmills and German architecture. Oh. I'm in neutral Netherlands. _Good, _I thought, _those bloody dogs can't find me here. _For the next few days I was walking along with the constant fear of artillery. Dear god I was terrified. I least I was alive. But something seemed different about the Netherlands. After 2 more days of constant hiking, I saw a sign that said: **PONYVILLE 3 MILES. **Sweet. But that was an odd name. I didn't care though. I Ran the next 3 kilometers and then I saw a fucking _zebra_ walk about ten meters away. Instead of walking a few more meters I went to see the zebra. I saw it walk into an African looking place. I thought it might be an embassy, so I walked on in. I saw all these potions and shit all over the walls. "Hello young creature, who are you? I've never seen a thing so black and blue." Holy shit. That zebra just talked. I guess it was referring to my battle wounds. "Umm, hi? I am a soldier for Britain, uhh, hi talking zebra?" I was terrified. She gave a green looking thing and started speaking " Wow you can speak. And I thought you were so bleak."

"I'm a soldier for Britain"

"What is this place?"

"The most powerful country in the world."

" I'm pretty sure that is Equstria were we are."

"No such thing. We probably conquered it anyways."

" Well I'm gonna go zebra thing. Bye." I exited hastily. The zebra yelled something, but I didn't hear it. I didn't care.

Over in the town I saw no one there. I did notice fireworks in the distance. I guess all the people were over there. I did however see a purple horse walk up to me and say, "What are you? I'm gonna bring you to Fluttershy!" I was too confused to do anything. I guess I was dreaming. Then I realized this was all too real. A yellow horse poked at me painfully. "Ow! What is with you?!" The horse thing jumped into the air spreading her wings. _WINGS!? _I also noticed the purple horse was a unicorn. "Holy shit! Crazy horse things!"

"We are ponies. Not horses."

"DIFFERENCE!?"

"Big."

"No there bloody isn't!"

"Bloody? Are you ok sir?"

"It's a bloody accent dog."

"Ponies."

"AHHHHHHH!" Was the last thing I said before a rabbit knocked me out.

I woke up to the "ponies" staring at me like I just ate a pie in 1 second. "Oh good he's OK." I stared at the yellow pony, I think her name was "Fluttershy". She stared at the bunny and it dashed off. " Let's get you some nice warm food at Applejack's."  
"Ok."  
"Oh you can speak?"  
"Duh. I just did."  
"Oh wow"  
I was starting to wonder if she was there when I was talking to Sparkly, as I called the purple horse. I was lead through town and still saw no residents. Strange. Then I saw this gay ass rainbow thing eye us and shoot right at me. Fluttershy had just left and was about a meter away when the rainbow pony hit me. "You get the Royal Guard! I'll hold this thing off!"  
"Oh yeah? Well say goodbye to your FUCKIN' HEAD BITCH!"  
"Try me."

I would not be surprised if my .25 cal was what made her utterly speechless. I told her not to mess with the crown again unless she is suicidal. She stared at me and started to look like she was planning another assault. She eyed my rifle and got this glazed look in her eyes. Then I turned my back for like 10 seconds, and she was on me again. She tore away my rifle, which was a smart move, but forgot my pistol. We were in a fistfight for about 3 minutes, then I got my pistol and blew her arm off. She screamed like that German I killed the other week. Loudly. She tried to fly away, but I shot her wings and another leg off. She was crying like crazy by now. She whimpered on the ground and bit my arm. "Ow! What the hell!" I screamed out loud. She attempted to steal my pistol, which she just noticed but she couldn't. She yelled for help and bit me again. Rainbow pony was only about 1.5 meters tall, but she sure could bite. We got into another fistfight, but this one was faster, as she was so wounded. I grabbed my rifle and shot off a huge chunk of flesh. That did it. She yelled like a ghost was eating her and cried like insanity. I smashed her face with my rifle, and ended her misery.

I was terrified to see Fluttershy, Sparkly, and I think "Applejack", plus some white unicorn of some sort, watched the whole thing. Applejack held me down and yelled for Sparkly to get the royal guard and the Princess. Oh shit. Who did I just kill? About 10 minutes later of scolding by AJ brought a pissed looking princess.  
"Do you have any idea who you just killed?"  
"Yes. An attacker. I was defending myself."  
"You killed one of the most important ponies in the land!"  
" How important could she be? I've seen tons of things like her"

Applejack joined in "She was no ordinary pony. She was brave smart and could do anything. Even save the world. She already has." She looked at me like she thought I learned my lesson. "OK well how abut she solves the crisis in Europe? Can she save all of the German and British boys in the trenches? Huh? HUH!?" There was an awkward silence.

I was put on trial at that castle. The judge was the princess and some other ponies. Everyone was silent and angry-faced. I knew I was screwed.  
"Order! Now why would you kill an innocent pony?"  
"She attacked me unprovoked. I just saw her and she tried to kill me."  
"She obviously saw you as a threat."  
"But I wasn't doing anything."  
"Right. You were carrying illegal weapons. Get them in here!"  
"I was given those by the government."  
"Right."  
"It wasn't this government."  
"This is the only government."  
"I ma from Britain."  
"A fake country. Just who do you think you are to kill that pony?"  
"A soldier. Cpl. Tom Cramput, 1st army division, France."  
"France?"  
"Yes. France. The war? I'm in it. Isn't this the Netherlands?"  
"No. This is Equestria."  
"Where's that?"  
"Here."  
"That isn't very specific."  
"Well you are in Equestria. Good enough?"  
"No, you bloody god damned dog."  
"Order!"

I was sentenced to execution. I used my modern military techniques and escaped. I ran until I reached the rocky shores of the area. I noticed I was very tired. I heard artillery shells in the distance and then it happened again. I noticed the world got brighter, and I disappeared.

"Thank god you're OK." said a nurse. Oh good. The real world. "Just to refresh your memory, you disappeared at the front and you were found on an island north of the Netherlands."  
"Ok. What's gonna happen now?"  
"You will be sent back to France any time now. In the meantime, Britain is preparing to send scouts to that new island..."

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

I was sent back to France, but got pulled right back out to have the 'Honor' of joining the scouts to the new island. I honestly didn't want to go back there, they might kill me, or I'll end up killing some other important pony. It took us 5 days of seasickness to get to the island. Almost as soon as we touched the shore, machine gun fire tore us apart. Someone yelled that the Germans got here first, but it was lasers from the unicorns, not bullets. We killed the dogs off, and advanced into the woods. Someone pointed out the zebra, but I killed it. We entered ponyville, and the military opened fire on us. Then the rest of the British Army came here, after creating a small peace treaty with Germany. Then half attacked here, the rest was in France. We took ponyville, "Baltimare", "Las Pegasus", and "Fillydelphia". We were pounding on the pony army. However we were losing men fast. We were on the outskirts of Canterlot when they bombed us with artillery. "Quick capture their leader!" someone told me. Shit shit shit shit shit. They were already pissed at me for killing a random civilian, but the princess, shit fuck. I shot "Celestia" in the head, and the royal guard captured me. I shot their faces off with my pistol, and ran. We captured the capitol, then went out for the rest of this island. They killed 5 COs in my unit, then killed riflemen. We killed them but we found out that there were 2 leaders. The second one was named "Luna".

We found the bunker were she was, and We went into it. We lost about 134 men in the first few seconds. I fought and fought for my life. I exited the bunker in about 3 hours, because I was shot in the leg. The truth is, I shot myself in the leg. Good thing too. The bunker exploded as soon as I got out of range. Turns out it was an oil derrick. Someone shot a barrel, and boom goes the dynamite. But Luna was dead. Equestria surrendered. I could go back home and see my wife and kids. The war in Europe ended a week later. I saw some horrors in Equestria, but in Europe, kill me now. All that fucking German artillery, wow. But I'm sure it's terrible in Equestria now. Why? We killed every single pony there after they gas attacked London, Paris, and Berlin. Then the war was over. Also, I was in London during the gas attack. I'm the only survivor. But sometimes, when I visit that god damned island, I swear I can still see Applejack and Sparkly watching me. I don't get out much anymore.

"That was an awful story grandpa."

"Well it's all true."

"Ugh two more days of this?"

"Yes sonny."

"Ugh."

"You should respect your bloody elders."

Then Applejack came in and killed both of us. I died at age 92.


End file.
